our first month with a baby
let’s describe our first month with a baby in just one word: overwhelming. totally unprepared & on cloud nine is how we went into our newborn bubble. our world decreased twice in size. the feeling ‘what on earth happened to us’ all over the time. positive & negative. we had a really good start and first week. first, lets tell something about the birth.
my labour started at 7pm and the first five hours went very smooth. i was able to do it all on myself and was total in control of my body. after five hours the midwife arrived and i was 5cm dilated, i was over the moon. then she checked up on jacks heartbeat but couldn’t find it so we went to the hospital – the plan was a home birth. the next hours in the hospital the dilation took a very long time, especially the last two cm, because – it turned out – jack was in a star gazing position and not pushing the right way with his head. but after looooong hours i was finally allowed to push. the most hardest part of a labour in my eyes, because i hadn’t any feeling to push. not for all the two hours i pushed. the most negative remember of jack’s birth, but after two hours there he was, healthy and all. i will never forget that feeling. i would like to do a thousands births, just for that satisfying feeling after it [yes i know it sounds mad, but really, that feeling is everything].
the first week with jack was amaaaazing. he slept all day, i felt good and we had a lovely nurse. we took it really slow, stayed in bed a lot & enjoyed all the baby snuggles while having a sore down under ;-). it was perfect. i feel blessed for this experience.
i started breastfeeding. it went not really smooth. i was not dedicated. i was not prepared. so i quit after five weeks. all i say about breastfeeding ;-).
the most underestimated part was the sleeping part. i thought babies are sleeping all day and night. well, that is the part i wasn’t prepared for. we hadn’t have any babies in our surroundings, no friends with a baby, no family with a baby. no one who told us what is going to be like. living like a zombie with only just a couple of hours sleep [if you are lucky]. because i got focussed on sleep so much i didn’t feel happy the first couple of months with jack. such a pity, because if you just focus on the good things, you CAN be happy as a new mom with a newborn. i know, because of the first months with the twins ;-). lucky us, jack is born in may & we could let him sleep outside during summer [during the days] in our hammock. it was the perfect way to swing him asleep.
we lived in the center of rotterdam and i wanted to go outside very soon after jack’s birth. because i could do everything by foot, i was outside with him every day. after four weeks we even visited a small festival in town. it felt amazing to be able to do that & to show jack our world and show him to the world.
after all, we had a super duper good first month, healthy wise. but i still remember the very tough times i went through, just because i didn’t know how to handle all the new feelings, hormons and sleepless nights. regarding the sleepless part, it turned out in the 10th week that jack was suffering from reflux [like a lot of babies] and that was why he wasn’t sleeping for not longer than 15-30 min every time. but a consolation to all the moms with a newborn reflux baby, it will get better ;-). jack is now sleeping [a sort of] through the night & when i watch all these pictures, i wish i could turn back the time, to enjoy the little thing more.